Just like if tomorrow, my bio daughter got some disease, I would never regret having her. My adoptive parents regret adopting me because I grew up and returned to my culture, community and religion. They told me a brief description of him (1 year old, can get along with female cats, sweet), and then I got to see a couple pictures of him, and that was that. There seems to be a lot of romanticizing for the birth parents here, when for one reason or another they had very little to do with the hard work of raising the adoptees. I'm also adopted, domestic infant adoptee, now 29M. I've wanted a pet cat for most of my life and I finally had the opportunity to adopt a 1 year old cat yesterday. Q. Regretting Adoption: I was told as a teenager that I could never carry a baby to term, so my husband and I immediately started the process of adoption as soon as we married. I haven’t been able to calm down since bringing her home and I fear I’ve made a huge mistake. I hope that things turn out for the best for your son and your family. I think it’s hard to judge who speaks up & why, or the actual numbers on happy vs unhappy (or just complicated, nuanced!) I have a better relationship with my parents than my wife does with hers, though, and she's not adopted. He never sees them as they are - just as he wishes them to be. I would encourage you if your hearts in it. There are good and bad adoption stories, and almost all adoption stories have good and bad parts. Adoption records were not sealed to protect b-families or adoptees from upset or intrusion. I would describe myself as having a good relationship with my APs, that being said I am horrified by some of the stories some adoptees have posted here and on other groups. If you are not happy and the cute baby has outgrown its cuteness, find out what your options are. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Regardless of the intensity of love, you can still love and be a good parent. We were placed with a child whose health was good at birth but who had been abandoned. I wish there was a good way to know how many adoptees are actually happy with their adoptions, and how many had no pain at all. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I know that there is heartache and frustration when an adopted child is sick or requires special attention just as there is with bio children. Kind of a general question, but the other question about UK social services putting kids up for adoption before the final ruling of abuse made me wonder. It is called a disruption. I went to stay at a home for young mums in Grey Lynn when I was eight months pregnant. [Help] Having Adoption Regret. You forgot: All adoptive parents are human traffickers! In the meantime, this was one of the most compassionate, insightful exchanges I’ve seen on this sub in my four-ish years here. I've also found it weird that there is a lot of anger here towards the adoptive parents, but none towards the birth parents who couldn't/wouldn't raise their child. My husband has said repeatedly: ‘If I knew then what I know now…NO!’ Yet, I’ve never seen a better father… ever. For the record I'm also an adoptee. I think we would be great parents, but it would absolutely break my heart if we adopted a child and they resented us for doing so. I grew up in the same situation as you and I’m having really tough times with my identity because of the culture I was raised in. Designed to give a voice to the many different perspectives of adoption, this series features posts by adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, waiting adoptive parents, and foster parents-turned-adoptive parents. I know every situation can be different, but how do you feel your experience could have been different? I too am always baffled at the hatred towards APs, and hardly any towards BPs. 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